Todd and Ashli Murdock
CURRICULUM VITAE
(Resume)
Name: Todd McKay Murdock
Address: Above a salon
City: One doesn't live in a city, one lives in a watershed.
Watershed: Jordan River
State: States are arbitrary--I live west of the 100th meridian.
OBJECTIVE
To obtain capital with which to start an eco-friendly, autonomous commune. (This is a private placement investment opportunity that is not to be missed.)
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
-Am not chubby anymore
-Have grown the kind of beard associated with prospectors and serial murderers
-Got Sam Robertson married (Huge.)
-Used abrasive personality to alienate Kade Anderson from the Utah State University's dating scene, and, by extension, the entire Bear River Watershed.
-Saw Todd Wise wearing a diaper at the 7-Eleven on University in Provo; could not fathom why. (Really happened.)
-Bought out "Something to Crow About;" used retail space to start extremely successful T-shirt business, "Threadless," with Mr. Bell. Like our predecessors, we also sell jock straps. (Et tu, Clair Shipp?)
RECOGNITION AND AWARDS
You will recognize me by the third nipple god awarded me.
EDUCATION
Does living an unmatchably fulfilling life count as "education"? (I've learned many wonderful things about the transcendent nature of personal wealth and success.)
WORK EXPERIENCE
Curriculum Vitae Consultant (per diem)
