Todd and Ashli Murdock
CURRICULUM VITAE
(Resume)
Name: Todd McKay Murdock
Address: Above a salon
City: One doesn't live in a city, one lives in a watershed.
Watershed: Jordan River
State: States are arbitrary--I live west of the 100th meridian.
OBJECTIVE
To obtain capital with which to start an eco-friendly, autonomous commune. (This is a private placement investment opportunity that is not to be missed.)
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
-Am not chubby anymore
-Have grown the kind of beard associated with prospectors and serial murderers
-Got Sam Robertson married (Huge.)
-Used abrasive personality to alienate Kade Anderson from the Utah State University's dating scene, and, by extension, the entire Bear River Watershed.
-Saw Todd Wise wearing a diaper at the 7-Eleven on University in Provo; could not fathom why. (Really happened.)
-Bought out "Something to Crow About;" used retail space to start extremely successful T-shirt business, "Threadless," with Mr. Bell. Like our predecessors, we also sell jock straps. (Et tu, Clair Shipp?)
RECOGNITION AND AWARDS
You will recognize me by the third nipple god awarded me.
EDUCATION
Does living an unmatchably fulfilling life count as "education"? (I've learned many wonderful things about the transcendent nature of personal wealth and success.)
WORK EXPERIENCE
Curriculum Vitae Consultant (per diem)
9 comments:
I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed so hard in my life.....
Todd, your CV is impressive, though I'd like to see you emphasize the significance of personal wealth and success a bit more, perhaps by stressing that it resulted from a high level of righteousness. Also, maybe shave your beard just in case your sending the wrong impression.
Just some thoughts...
I'm nominating Todd's entry for the Weirdest Update Award. Strong work, Todd.
Todd, what about the virtues of unfettered resource exploitation? If we all live in co-housing I can't really manifest my elect status by getting a better boat than you.
Implementing all this talk about sustainable balance would kind of cramp my style.
Let your freedom flag of a beard fly!
VBW, S, BJB
By personal wealth, do you mean whatever your sprouting in your kitchen? (Cause I think that's called radishes.)
Hilarious Todd….remembering the disappearance of Kade at Utah State and shopping for Junior High athletic uniforms at “Something to Crow About” sure takes me back. I think you will get the award for the most comments posted on your blog.
Sometime you will have to tell us about Belize. Seth and I really want to go there.
Haha, I love it. Your abrasive personality had nothing to do with me leaving. If anything it kept me there as long as i did. My personal favorite was the day we decided to make fun of every person we saw for no apparent reason. good times. I left because i got free tuition at byui because my mom taught there. But, i guess we can blame it on you. Bastard!
Hi Kade. Do we have to grovel or beg for your update? I'm up for either; you get to choose.
Too funny! Just glad to hear that you really aren't homeless. (Yes, you did startle me with that beard! :)
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